Monthly Archives: February 2009

Eastern Clash: Post-Game

We at Distinct Kicking Motion were able to catch up with Washington Capital’s sniper Alexander Semin following their overtime victory against the Boston Bruins today. Semin’s overtime goal was the difference-maker in this matinee affair. Here are some of Semin’s comments following the game:

Alexander with a post-game refreshment

Alexander with a post-game refreshment

DKM: Alex, you were named the game’s first star. How does it feel against a top Eastern Conference opponent like Boston?

AS: Well I like the Boston Bruins and respect the Boston Bruins. Boston Bruins is a team to play against, and today we did. We did until four to three. Final score.

DKM: Could you go over that final goal there? Did you see something with Thomas’ positioning, or was it just plain luck?

AS: Well, it is such a long game for me. The long shift made me breathe very hard, so I just shoot from far. It got lucky and Boston Bruins did not stop it. I wear the white jersey and that help when puck makes the flight.

DKM: How would you rate your team’s play today?

AS: My teammates say happy things to me. And coach smiling often. I play good to my ability. I sometimes am Donald Brashear but today I am me, scoring goals.

DKM: Describe your individual play today.

AS: I am having a tripping penalty in second frame, but we are okay.

DKM: Any comments on Sidney Crosby?

AS: Yes. He cannot be good any longer. He is old fry, not news to me, or to Russia. Next time I come into Pittsburgh Penguins, I can be taking fight against Crosby.

DKM: Thank you for your time, Alex.

AS: It is honour and pleasure for you to see me.

For the record, Distinct Kicking Motion’s NHL insider, The Bench Boss, made a near-perfect prediction on this game, only making an incorrect team pick in a hotly contested 4-3 overtime victory for the Caps.


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Eastern Clash

An early treat for fans today as the two top teams in the East battle at an early 1:00 et start. The surging Caps travel to Beantown to take on the Bruins. After enduring a mini-slump, the East leading Bruins have once again caught fire having scored 6 goals in each of their last two wins. The latter was a 6-0 thrashing at the hands of the Charlie Conway and Adam Banks lead Ducks of Anaheim.

Brashy and Bitzy have a dance

Brashy and Bitzy have a dance

Washington on the other hand has been on fire pretty much the whole second half of the season, and now find themselves inching closer and closer to the Bruins for first place in the East. The Bench Boss’s advice is to keep an eye on the special teams matchup. Ovechkin, Semin, Backstrom and Green are the most dynamic foursome any coach has the luxury to put on the ice with the man advantage (with all due respect to Detroit), so it will be interesting to see if Thomas, Chara and Co. can shut them down. I don’t know if they can but I am still predicting a 4-3 Bruins win.

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Congrats Ozzy


Friday’s 2-1 over the LA Kings was just the second time in 11 games in which Detroit goaltender Chris Osgood didn’t allow 3 or more goals.  In those eleven games the so called “Wizard” had one game of 6 goals against, two games of 5 against and a plethora of games with 3 and 4 goals allowed. Osgood now boasts a gawdy record of 19-5-7, but his goals against average is ballooned well over 3.00, and a save percentage well below .900, clearly showing that his success in terms of wins and losses is a product of the great team in which he plays for. With the continuing steady play of Ty Conklin, it will be interesing to see what will happen with the goaltending situation in Detroit heading into the playoffs, especially if Osgood can go on a hot streak of even marginal play, as opposed to letting in 10 goals a night (exaggeration….or is it?)  At this point, Conklin has to be the Wings playoff goalie, atleast until Osgood stops letting in 20 goals a night.

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How Marty Does It

brodeur-maskWith New Jersey Devils’ goaltender Martin Brodeur back in net and renewing his assault on the all-time record books, it’s time to assess the “how” behind his accomplishments. I have my own theory, which I will reveal after a brief rundown of some of more incorrect popular ones.

1. He’s a product of the system

Since the dawn of man, New Jersey has been committed to a defensive, ‘trap’ style system. While this absolutely retarded and coma-inducing effective system has kept scoring chances and shots to a relative minimum over the years, especially with some of the lesser-skilled Devils’ teams having to commit almost exclusively to defense, it doesn’t take away from the fact that he’s a highly skilled goalie who has successfully turned away those scoring chances more often than not. Ninety-nine career shutouts means many nights of perfection, whether against 15 shots or 35.

2. Longevity

Brodeur has been blessed with remarkable durability throughout his career. Since the 95-96 season, Brodeur has started less than 70 games only once (and even then, it was 67). Sure, he missed a lot of time this year due to a significant injury, but will it be any surprise when he suits up for 70 next season? However, longetivity does not automatically translate into victories. “Mr. Goalie” Glenn Hall started only 60 less games than Brodeur, but won 130 fewer games.

3. Natural skill

Brodeur has long been touted as the best puck-handling goaltender of all-time. He’s rarely out of position, has some of the best reflexes in the game, and has those killer sideburns to boot. So, how does a man with this skill set and durability land on a team with a defense-first attitude for the entirety of his career?

14_martin_brodeur_wallpaper-147014The Answer:

Martin Brodeur sold his soul to the Devil. Brodeur’s new mask shows how he and the Devil have been inextricably connected. The little devil tail growing out of the MB30 reveals that the two have been joined, and that Marty has finally started to acknowledge the true source of his greatness.

The power of Christ compels you

The power of Christ compels you

Noteworthy Christ-advocate Sean Avery made headlines trying to perform an in-game exorcism during the 2008 playoffs. Although unsuccessful, Avery’s power was evident in the post-series handshake line, where Brodeur knew that any physical contact with Christ’s general would result in instant suffering. I sincerely hope that Brodeur enjoys his records and earthly accomplishments before being received into the gaping maw of Hell for eternity.

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Breaking News: Penguins’ Whitney to Ducks for Kunitz, Prospect.

So, Ryan Whitney and his 6 year 24 million dollar contract have been shipped to the ducks for Chris Kunitz and a prospect named Eric Tangradi I have never heard of before who is a star Junior player “in the mould of Bobby Ryan” (See The Bench Boss’ comments after the jump). Puck daddy says he has a ‘power forward upside’. We shall see if the Pens can develop that, as they have been treating Janne Pesonen poorly and have kept him in the AHL – he has his own Finnish song for Valhalla’s Sake.

Kunitz’ career high in points is 60 (with 25 goals, also a career high). This season he is on pace for 46 points (21 goals). Obviously his stock has risen now that he will probably play with Crosby.

I think the Ducks win this trade, but arguments can be made for both sides. If Tangradi  pans out, then clearly the Pens win. Kunitz is 30. Whitney, while struggling this season, will probably turn into a value player at 4 million a year for the next 5 seasons, and he will only get better. Kunitz is apprently under contract through the 2012 season.

To conclude, the Pens could have probably got better players/picks in exchange for Whitney and his long term low(ish) cap hit contract. [I said that before knowing the potential impact of Tangradi]


Filed under The Big Aristotle

Def’s Dangle

Hello out there to all the fans in the UK, and throughout the world. For those of you who might not know me, I am Joe Elliott, the lead singer of the legendary english rock band Def Leppard, but what many of you might not know is that I am a massive fan of the sport of ice hockey. Growing up in Sheffield, England, I dreamed of one day lacing up my bladed boots  in what is known as the National Hockey League, but what we in England more commonly referred to as the “Football Skating League.” As I got older I became more and more involved in music but never did I lose my love for ice hockey. My favourite team has long been the Detroit Red Birds because of their long tradition and their success at winning the coveted Stackley Cup. I was flattered to say the least when I discovered that it is customary for the winners of the Stickley Cup to fill the bowl with sugar and then pour it all over their faces, a reference to our hit song “pour some sugar on me.”  

Me with the Snuggly Cup. A moment I will never forget.

Me with the Snuggly Cup. A moment I will never forget.

Even in my wildest dreams I never could have imagined actually getting a chance to lift the great Spammly Cup, but on October 5, 2008 that is exactly what happened. Me and my bandmates were asked to perform following the opening game of the Red Cardinals season, and what I thought was going to be just another performance turned out to be so much more. At the end of our set, two players from the Red Rockets came on stage with the cup and proceeded to pass it to me. Even after years of having thousands and thousands of fans going crazy for our music, I have never experienced a thrill more exhilirating than I felt when I hoisted that beautiful Snooply Cup over my head. Afterwards, people kept approaching me and asking if the cup was heavy, and to be honest, I found it to be more awkward than heavy because I couldn’t really get a good grip on the smallish lower portion of the cup.

Here  is a short video  of my experience. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did, as it was truly an incredible moment, one that I will most definitely never forget.

Yours truly, Joe Elliott


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Confessions of a Cros-Dawg Fan

Andy Samberg of the 2008 SNL digital short 'Jizz in my Pants', pictured twice.

Andy Samberg of the 2008 SNL digital short 'Jizz in my Pants', pictured twice.

Sidney Crosby. I like this purported Monster. Certain agitators (on this very blog, even!) have been taking the mick out of the Troy and Trina Crosby offspring.

It is fashionable to hate on Sid the Kid Grown man – millionaire! – living in a basement.

Here are the 5 usual lines of argument against Sid and why they are wrong. Then I give 5 reasons why I like him and 5 reasons why I don’t. These latter two lists are not like anything you have ever seen. ever. Yes, I chose 5 for each before thinking of the actual points. Five is a nice number. There have got to be at least that many for each, right??

[Posing questions before knowing the answers? Am I a writer for Lost?!]

The Usual Sid Bashing Arguments:

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