Monthly Archives: March 2010

City of Compton Claims To Be ‘Hockeyville’

This rowdy bunch of Compton hockey players vow to be the next Hockeyville

For several years now the CBC has aired a program called “Hockeyville” which sets out to find the most passionate hockey town in Canada. The five finalists for this years contest have recently been named, a list which much to their angst did not include the city of Compton, California. Although the Hockeyville contest is  strictly a Canadian contest, Compton city officials and residents feel that they are indeed the greatest hockey city around. “We’s gots to be the best hockey city in North America,” said Compton resident and local beer league player Lontarious McJackson. “Acks any of these brothas who the best puck-ballas are and they be saying that the Compton G’s can puck like no one else. Seriously dawg, the brothas down here in the ghetto got some mad skillz, I ain’t even playin on you yo. I ain’t talkin’ bout’ none of dat pussy ass bullshit either, you get outta line on the ice out here and you gon’ get fucked up real quick. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under The Bench Boss

Coyote Mania in Phoenix

Phoenix mascot Howler indicates where the team wants to finish

One of the surprise stories this NHL season has been the success of the Phoenix Coyotes franchise.  The team currently sits a mere two points out of first place in the super-competitive Western Conference.  What’s been the key to their success?  Well, this Distinct Kicking Motion exclusive reveals the motivational strategies employed by head coach Dave Tippett that have his boys fired up.  We visited the locker room, and were able to speak with Coach Tippett and several excited players.  The reason behind much of their excitement can be summed up with the words “Career vs. The Streak.”  Confused?  Read on, and find out exactly what has been the driving force behind the Coyote’s momentum.

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Offensive Defenceman

Detroit Red Wings More Than Happy To Get In Through The Back Door

The Detroit Red Wings, who for the first time in many years find themselves in a battle just to get into the playoffs, feel that the route they are taking may be a blessing in disguise. “We like where we are at right now,” said head coach Mike Babcock. “Being in 8th place might cause some teams to take us lightly, but I can assure you that we are still a very good team capable of a deep playoff run. It goes along with the old expression that a team who gets in through the back door is the most dangerous. And I can assure you, we’ll be pounding and hammering at that back door harder than ever. There is nothing we as a group love more than pounding through a back door.” Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under The Bench Boss

Edmonton Oilers Refuse to Believe In That Whole ‘Mathematically Eliminated Thing’

Even though it is literally impossible for them to do so, the Edmonton Oilers continue to hold out hope that they can still get into this year’s NHL playoffs. Despite being 32 points behind the 8th place Detroit Red Wings with just 11 games remaining, a total that even if the Oilers managed to win all of their remaining games and the Wings lost all of theirs would still not be enough to qualify for the playoffs, Oiler players remain confident that they will be able to turn things around and sneak in by the time the regular season concludes. “Oh I really like our chances a lot going forward,” said team captain Ethan Moreau. “We have been playing really well of late and we’ve got a lot of winnable games against teams that are below .500,” noted Moreau who continues to ignore the fact that the Oilers 51 points ranks them last in the league and 13 points behind even the second-worst team. “I try and stay away from the mathematic side of things. I’ve never really believed in what those Math guys say, and if you ask me they are all a bunch of jerks anyways. Besides, I was never really good at math,” chuckled Moreau.

Forward Andrew Cogliano also believes that his team is starting to have that ‘playoff feel’ to it, and even went as far as saying the Oilers are a contender for the Cup. “The way we’ve been playing, I don’t think any team wants to face us in the playoffs. I don’t wanna sound too cocky, but if we keep playing like this there is no doubt in my mind we’ll be in the playoffs and then whew look out, we might just go all the way. When asked if he realized that there is absolutely no chance that the Edmonton Oilers can make the playoffs, Cogliano shook his head, laughed and said “Pfff, figures. You reporters are always on the Mathmaticians side. It never fails. Every year you guys are always telling us what we can’t do and how making the playoffs is impossible, well guess what, we aren’t listening to this crap anymore. We are staying strong, and like I said before, we’re getting in and whoever has to play us is gonna have their hands full.”

1 Comment

Filed under The Bench Boss

Alex Ovechkin: Woohoo Now I Can Watch March Madness

Capitals superstar Alexander Ovechkin was surprisingly in good spirits after learning about the two game suspension that the NHL had handed down on him as a result of his check on Brian Campbell of the Chicago Blackhawks. After Ovechkin learned of the suspension he became giddy and wiped his brow as if to signal a sigh of relief. “Whew, thank god they gave me two games, now I can watch the first and secound rounds of March Madness,” said Ovechkin referring of course to the ever-popular NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. “I’ll tell ya, it was a tough 24 hours wondering if I would be suspended or not. I wanted to fill out a bracket more than anything but I didn’t want to jinx myself in case I didn’t get suspended. I was on pins and needles the whole time.”

Ovechkin said that as soon as he got off of the phone with league disciplinary Colin Campbell he began filling out his bracket and explained that his love for the tournament began immediately during his first year in North America, and that he anticipates it greatly every year. “Oh yeah there is nothing better man. The buzzer-beaters, the up’s and down’s, the drama, its straight up crazy,” said Ovechkin as he looked over the bracket in which he had just filled out. “I’ve got Kansas, Syracuse, West Virginia and Duke in the Final Four, and then Kansas to beat Duke in the final. It was tough to pick against Kentucky in the Elite 8 because I think they have the most talent, but they’re so young. I’m hoping they get through though because a Calipari-Kryzewski coaching showdown in the semi’s would be epic, especially with storied programs like Kentucky and Duke going at it, doesn’t get any better than that.” Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under The Bench Boss

Breaking News: Chris Chelios Called Up

Shockwaves were felt throughout the National Hockey League today as the Atlanta Thrashers have called up 48-year old defenceman Chris Chelios in an effort to secure a playoff spot.  Chelios has spent the season playing in the AHL and Tuesday nights in the retiree pick-up game at an arena near his Chicago residence.  Despite his advanced age and diminished skill set, Chelios is eager about his return to NHL action at the highest level.  Distinct Kicking Motion caught up with Chelios and several of his new teammates in Atlanta to gauge the reaction and excitement for Chris’ return to the show.

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Offensive Defenceman

Boston Bruins Decide Not To Play In Honour Of Marc Savard

When Marc Savard of the Boston Bruins was carried off on a stretcher after being knocked unconcious by Matt Cooke  in Sunday night’s game between the Bruins and Penguins, many expected the Bruins would be inspired to play the rest of the season in honour of their star player. Fans and media alike expected the Bruins to come out flying in Tuesday night’s affair against Toronto, but after an overtime loss to the lowly Leafs, it was clear that the Bruins were not keeping their fallen comrade in their hearts. “We actually decided not to dedicate the rest of the season to Marc,” admitted team captain Zdeno Chara. “We as a team feel that it is best to move on and put Marc Savard behind us. We are in the middle of a battle for the playoffs and we can’t worry ourselves with trying to please an injured player. We have to stay focused, and unfortunately that focus doesn’t involve Marc.”

Head coach Claude Julien said it was a tough decision to make but one in which he said needed to be made. “I talked to them about it and as a group we felt that it was best to sever any ties with Marc in an effort to make sure we keep pushing forward instead of dwelling on the past. The toughest part was taking his stall down,” said Julien referring to the tradition of a team keeping a fallen teammates’ dressing room stall exactly the way it was left. “Tossing his nameplate in the garbage was a hard thing to do but it was the first step in seperating ourselves from him. We all know what he meant to us, he was our leading scorer, but we have to forget him for now. Next year, if he gets over his concussion problems, we’ll welcome him back with open arms.”

1 Comment

Filed under The Bench Boss