Vancouver Canucks vs Boston Bruins: Keys to the Matchup

Vancouver Canucks

  • Keep the belief that they are favoured by god and are destined to win just because they are a Canadian team and Canada hasn’t won the Cup in such a wong, wong time
  • With Marc Savard out of the lineup it will be interesting to see which Bruins player Raffi Torres will give a concussion
  • Ryan Kesler shouldn’t change anything about his game. So that means he needs to keep being a little cocksucker every time he is on the ice
  • Be sure not to wake Kevin Bieksa up from his on-going dream of playing like Bobby Orr
  • The girl who flashed Ben Eager in the Sharks series should be at every game in both cities; everyone loves a good titty

Boston Bruins

  • Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton should stop telling everyone how cute their matching “bash bros.” tattoos are
  • Mark Recchi’s experience in the 1991 Stanley Cup Finals has no bearing on this series, but the joke of how he was playing in the Cup finals while Tyler Seguin’s parents were conceiving him never gets old
  • Two Sedins vs. one Chara. Time for Zdeno’s twin brother Vojtech to emerge
  • Tim Thomas might not be as technically sound as Roberto Luongo, but aww’shucks he is such a swell guy
  • If victorious, act like smug assholes who think they own the sport just because they won one championship in a hundred years; just like Red Sox Fans

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1 Comment

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One response to “Vancouver Canucks vs Boston Bruins: Keys to the Matchup

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