Category Archives: Offensive Defenceman

Richard Park Guarantees Korean Gold in 2018

This was Richard Park's actual reaction to the announcement of Pyeongchang getting the 2018 Olympics

NHL mega-star and long-time DKM supporter Richard Park has issued fair warning for the 2018 Olympic Winter Games: “Kolea is going to take the gord medar!!”

That bold statement came on the heels of the announcement that the city of Pyeongchang, South Korea, will be hosting the Winter Olympic games in 2018.  While Korea is often highly competitive on other forms of ice, such as speed skating and figure skating, hockey hasn’t been much of a forte.  That’s all going to change in the next six years, says Park, who sat down exclusively with DKM to talk about his excitement over the announcement.

“Re rill be leady to pray big time hockey games!” Park declared.  “This is time for South Kolea to take up our sticks and pucks, and jam them on the Canadians!!”

Although South Korea does not currently have more than four ice hockey players in the entire country, Park is optimistic that his high-level NHL experience will rub off on the rookies during training.  “I have prayed with the best prayers in the whore wide wowld!!” Park shouted.  “Once I get prayers to sign up, I teach to skate and shoot, and then we get to the power pray!!  We are so tiny and fast prayers, we buzz arr over the ice and other team must take penarties.  Then, we rill capitarize on the advantage and get many goars this way!  Many, many goars!”

Park, who has 95 goals scored in 684 NHL games, believes that the Koreans should actually be viewed as favourites, over typical heavyweights like Canada, the U.S., Russia, and Sweden.  “Those countries no ronger good at hockey!  Now, it is South Kolea’s time to be the best!”

It’s certainly an exciting time for the residents of South Korea, and particularly for the thirty-six fans of ice hockey in the country, all of whom are Richard Park’s extended family.  It is unknown at this time whether or not Park’s 6 separate International ice hockey appearances for the United States will effectively bar him from competing for South Korea in 2018.  “If they even try to stop me, I wirr no ronger be smiring arr the time!!  I wirr instead take a bite out of their asses!!”

Richard Park's family braved the cold to celebrate ice hockey's arrival in South Korea in 2018.

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Off-Season Plans for NHL Players

Well, now that the fires in Vancouver have been extinguished, it’s time for the NHL’s annual off-season to kick off.  This means you’ll be able to find many North American hockey players on the golf course relaxing with a few beverages, European players returning to their home country to be with family and to train, and all sorts of activities in between.  I mean lots of activities.  Luckily, we here at DKM were fortunate enough to get the scoop on what some players were looking forward to most in this coming off-season.  Follow the jump to see what these guys are getting up to.

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Rick Nash Looking Forward to Playoffs

As the 2010-11 NHL Regular Season heads down the home stretch, Columbus Blue Jackets’ captain Rick Nash is eagerly anticipating his favourite time of the year: the NHL Playoffs.  “Oh man, I’m absolutely jacked that it’s so close… so close I can taste it!”

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Carey Price Might Miss Season Opener

Carey Price telling media about his "flu-like" symptoms

According to a report from the real journalists at tsn.ca, Montreal Canadiens’ goaltender Carey Price may miss the season opener against rival Toronto Maple Leafs with an illness.  The report cites flu-like symptoms, which defenceman Andrei Markov is also feeling the effects of.  However, we here at DKM are in pretty tight with Carey, and we got the real scoop on what’s happening in Hab-land.  Follow the jump for the REAL inside story about Carey Price’s illness.

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Hockey’s Back

With the return of NHL hockey for the 2010-2011 season, new content from Distinct Kicking Motion will be up soon!  Keep checking in for new posts and updates!

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Canadiens Eliminate Penguins; Carey Price Pissed Off

The Montreal Canadiens celebrate their Game 7 victory over the Pittsburgh Penguins

The Montreal Canadiens continued their playoff run with yet another upset victory, this time knocking off the defending champion Pittsburgh Penguins in seven games.  This has been the cause of much excitement and celebration, both for the players on the team and the fans in Montreal.  However, DKM has learned that the magical playoff run has upset at least one player, backup goaltender Carey Price.

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Marco Sturm Looking For Attention

Generic picture of generic Boston Bruins' forward, Marco Sturm

Boston Bruins’ forward Marco Sturm tried to get some headlines in the series opener against the Philadelphia Flyers by tearing the ACL and MCL in his right knee.  Sturm is projected to be out for about 6 months, so needless to say his playoffs are done.  However, Sturm’s injury has been overshadowed by injuries to better players on other teams, and the return of Marc Savard on his own team.  Unfortunately, this has left Sturm very bitter and jealous about losing out on making the headlines that he has craved for so long.

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