Tag Archives: olympic hockey

Richard Park Guarantees Korean Gold in 2018

This was Richard Park's actual reaction to the announcement of Pyeongchang getting the 2018 Olympics

NHL mega-star and long-time DKM supporter Richard Park has issued fair warning for the 2018 Olympic Winter Games: “Kolea is going to take the gord medar!!”

That bold statement came on the heels of the announcement that the city of Pyeongchang, South Korea, will be hosting the Winter Olympic games in 2018.  While Korea is often highly competitive on other forms of ice, such as speed skating and figure skating, hockey hasn’t been much of a forte.  That’s all going to change in the next six years, says Park, who sat down exclusively with DKM to talk about his excitement over the announcement.

“Re rill be leady to pray big time hockey games!” Park declared.  “This is time for South Kolea to take up our sticks and pucks, and jam them on the Canadians!!”

Although South Korea does not currently have more than four ice hockey players in the entire country, Park is optimistic that his high-level NHL experience will rub off on the rookies during training.  “I have prayed with the best prayers in the whore wide wowld!!” Park shouted.  “Once I get prayers to sign up, I teach to skate and shoot, and then we get to the power pray!!  We are so tiny and fast prayers, we buzz arr over the ice and other team must take penarties.  Then, we rill capitarize on the advantage and get many goars this way!  Many, many goars!”

Park, who has 95 goals scored in 684 NHL games, believes that the Koreans should actually be viewed as favourites, over typical heavyweights like Canada, the U.S., Russia, and Sweden.  “Those countries no ronger good at hockey!  Now, it is South Kolea’s time to be the best!”

It’s certainly an exciting time for the residents of South Korea, and particularly for the thirty-six fans of ice hockey in the country, all of whom are Richard Park’s extended family.  It is unknown at this time whether or not Park’s 6 separate International ice hockey appearances for the United States will effectively bar him from competing for South Korea in 2018.  “If they even try to stop me, I wirr no ronger be smiring arr the time!!  I wirr instead take a bite out of their asses!!”

Richard Park's family braved the cold to celebrate ice hockey's arrival in South Korea in 2018.


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Filed under Offensive Defenceman

U.S. Olympic Team Announcement to be Shown on ESPN 8: The Ocho

The announcement of the roster for the United States 2010 Olympic hockey team will be televised at 4:00 AM on ESPN Ocho on December 31. While the announcement of the Canadian roster will be broadcast live nationally and watched by millions on the country’s biggest sprots network (TSN), the selection of the American roster will be shown on a station that specializes in dodgeball and lawnmower races among others. Continue reading


Filed under The Bench Boss

My Team Canada


Pretty much every sportswriter in Canada did it so The Bench Boss figures he might as well get on board and do the same. With the summer orientation camp out of the way here is how the team would look if I were Steve Yzerman. Continue reading


Filed under The Bench Boss