Tag Archives: Olympics

Richard Park Guarantees Korean Gold in 2018

This was Richard Park's actual reaction to the announcement of Pyeongchang getting the 2018 Olympics

NHL mega-star and long-time DKM supporter Richard Park has issued fair warning for the 2018 Olympic Winter Games: “Kolea is going to take the gord medar!!”

That bold statement came on the heels of the announcement that the city of Pyeongchang, South Korea, will be hosting the Winter Olympic games in 2018.  While Korea is often highly competitive on other forms of ice, such as speed skating and figure skating, hockey hasn’t been much of a forte.  That’s all going to change in the next six years, says Park, who sat down exclusively with DKM to talk about his excitement over the announcement.

“Re rill be leady to pray big time hockey games!” Park declared.  “This is time for South Kolea to take up our sticks and pucks, and jam them on the Canadians!!”

Although South Korea does not currently have more than four ice hockey players in the entire country, Park is optimistic that his high-level NHL experience will rub off on the rookies during training.  “I have prayed with the best prayers in the whore wide wowld!!” Park shouted.  “Once I get prayers to sign up, I teach to skate and shoot, and then we get to the power pray!!  We are so tiny and fast prayers, we buzz arr over the ice and other team must take penarties.  Then, we rill capitarize on the advantage and get many goars this way!  Many, many goars!”

Park, who has 95 goals scored in 684 NHL games, believes that the Koreans should actually be viewed as favourites, over typical heavyweights like Canada, the U.S., Russia, and Sweden.  “Those countries no ronger good at hockey!  Now, it is South Kolea’s time to be the best!”

It’s certainly an exciting time for the residents of South Korea, and particularly for the thirty-six fans of ice hockey in the country, all of whom are Richard Park’s extended family.  It is unknown at this time whether or not Park’s 6 separate International ice hockey appearances for the United States will effectively bar him from competing for South Korea in 2018.  “If they even try to stop me, I wirr no ronger be smiring arr the time!!  I wirr instead take a bite out of their asses!!”

Richard Park's family braved the cold to celebrate ice hockey's arrival in South Korea in 2018.

Leave a comment

Filed under Offensive Defenceman

What The Non-Olympians Did During The Break

Not every player in the NHL was lucky enough to play in the Olympics, and were able to enjoy a nice two week break before resuming their season this week. Here is what a few of the Non-Olympians did to pass the time.
 

 Jeff Carter, Philadelphia Flyers:  Sat by the phone all hours of the day, but was not heard from by anyone as he refused to answer the phone unless the caller i.d. came up as “Steve”.

Mikael Samuelsson, Vancouver Canucks: Attended all Sweden games dressed in a Wizard costume complete with a wand in which he used to cast spells against his home country’s team. Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under The Bench Boss

Team Canada’s Olympic Roster: Triumphs and Tragedies

Team Canada’s 2010 Olympic hockey squad was revealed yesterday, and there has been the usual backlash of criticism and controversy regarding some of the selections.  TSN’s coverage of the selected players (and the omitted ones) can be found by clicking here.  Before we get into the reactions of players around the league, here’s a list of the team as well as some notable exceptions.

IN

Forwards:  PATRICE BERGERON (Boston),  SIDNEY CROSBY (Pittsburgh),  RYAN GETZLAF (Anaheim),  DANY HEATLEY (San Jose),  JAROME IGINLA (Calgary),  PATRICK MARLEAU (San Jose),  BRENDEN MORROW (Dallas),  RICK NASH (Columbus),  MIKE RICHARDS (Philadelphia),  COREY PERRY (Anaheim),  ERIC STAAL (Carolina),  JOE THORNTON (San Jose),  JONATHAN TOEWS (Chicago)

Defence:  DAN BOYLE (San Jose),  DREW DOUGHTY (Los Angeles),  DUNCAN KEITH (Chicago),  SCOTT NIEDERMAYER (Anaheim),  CHRIS PRONGER (Philadelphia),  BRENT SEABROOK (Chicago),  SHEA WEBER (Nashville)

Goaltenders:  MARTIN BRODEUR (New Jersey),  MARC-ANDRE FLEURY (Pittsburgh),  ROBERTO LUONGO (Vancouver)

NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS

MIKE GREEN (Washington),  DION PHANEUF (Calgary),  JAY BOUWMEESTER (Calgary),  CAM WARD (Carolina),  JEFF CARTER (Philadelphia),  SHANE DOAN (Phoenix),  RYAN SMYTH (Los Angeles),  VINCENT LECAVALIER (Tampa Bay), MARTIN ST. LOUIS (Tampa Bay),  STEVE STAMKOS (Tampa Bay),  CURTIS JOSEPH (Retired)

Continue reading

Leave a comment

Filed under Offensive Defenceman