Tag Archives: philadelphia flyers

Richard Park’s Conference Semi-Final Predictions

 

Back by popular demand long-time DKM contributor Richard Park has once again taken his time to weigh in on the Stanley Cup Playoffs with his second-round playoff predictions. Although Richard spent the past season playing in Switzerland, the end of his season meant that he could return home and enjoy some NHL playoff action and after a hotly contested round 1, here is who he likes to move on to the conference finals:

(1) Vancouver vs. (5) Nashville

Orrr roww it is so gleat to be back pledicting these exciting NHL prayoffs! I pray in Switzerand this year but I stirr vely much rove NHL hockey. Vancouvel finarry defeated their rong time rivars Chicago Brackhawks and now rook to be vely vely hungly. They are arways smiring and praying loose styre of hockey and now that Ruongo shake off his Brackhawk brues they most definitery have an advantage. Big giant Rinne is rike dinosaurrr in net for the Pledators but he cannot stop the jorry twins Danier and Henlik.  Vanouver in 5

(2) San Jose vs. (3) Detroit

This is rematch of rast years series when the Shawwks beat the Led Wings in 5 games. This going to be a vely vely crose series and is vely hawwwd to call. Home ice advantage will be big key for Shawwwks but they must be carefur for Paver Datsyuk. He is one of the vely best prayers in the league and is arways rooking for rots and rots of goars. Dougrass Murray must try his vely hawwwwwwwwwwwwwwdest to stop him. He rooks rike a giant neanderthar man from such a rong time ago. Sharks in 7 Continue reading

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Philadelphia vs Buffalo: Keys to the Matchup

Philadelphia:

  • Use the anger and hostility of Philadelphia sports fans as motivation because they will be right pissed if you lose
  • Flyers broadcasters should stop saying Claude Giroux has “silky smooth hands” as it is starting to make some of the other guys on the team a little uncomfortable
  • For the love of god someone tell Scott Hartnell that the long, red, rat-nested look is out
  • Unlike last year when the Flyers were underdogs in the playoffs, they are now the favorites so they should take advantage of the oppurtunity to walk around with a smug sense of entitlement

Buffalo:

  • After missing the playoffs last year the Sabres are back in. This might not sound exciting for a lot of other cities but for Buffalo its huge
  • Jhonas Enroth played well in relief of the injured Ryan Miller but now its time to get back to what he does best: sitting far away from everyone else and looking lonely wearing a baseball cap
  • A hat-trick never hurt anyone before…I’m looking at you Drew Stafford
  • Name a new team captain. Without one they will be lost, disoriented and unsure of how to function

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Sure Chris Pronger Donated Millions To Charity, But He Is Still Mean For Stealing Those Pucks

What would this young fan think if she learned that her hero was a puck stealer?

Despite recently donating 4 million dollars of his contract to a Philadelphia SickKids Hospital, Flyers defenceman Chris Pronger continues to be looked at as a villain because of the game pucks he stole at the conclusion of games 1 and 2 of the Stanley Cup Finals. “How dare he take those pucks,” said Blackhawks fan James Hoover. “Those were two hard fought wins for the Hawks and they deserved to savour the victories with a nice souvenir. Chris Pronger has no class at all, and if you ask me, he’s a real piece of crap.” Continue reading

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Stanley Cup Finals: Keys to the Matchup

Chicago Blackhawks:

  • Make sure to get a lot of shots on Flyers goalie Michael Leighton because he probably isn’t really any good
  • Gain the supprt of the southern States by showing them pictures of Patrick Kane’s mullet
  • Try to ignore the fact that Marian Hossa has been on the losing team in two straight Stanley Cup Finals
  • Playoff mustache’s are cool, but not on Joel Quenneville
  • Trick one of the Flyers players into picking up Patrick Kane in a Taxi
  • Since they haven’t won a Cup since 1961, they should probably try really hard to win this time

 

Philadelphia Flyers

  • Make sure to get a lot of shots on Hawks goalie Antti Niemi because he probably isn’t really any good
  • Don’t let Dustin Byfuglien get close to the net because he can dunk
  • Chris Pronger seems to be pretty good so they should put him out a lot
  • Have Flyers legend Bobby Clarke give a two hour demonstration on slashing, spearing, cross-checking, elbowing, checking from behind, butt-ending, kicking, and head-butting
  • Either way, try to get the series over fast so that no one has to see Scott Hartnell anymore
  • If the team happens to lose, just do what any good Philadelphian does; blame Donovan Mcnabb

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Marco Sturm Looking For Attention

Generic picture of generic Boston Bruins' forward, Marco Sturm

Boston Bruins’ forward Marco Sturm tried to get some headlines in the series opener against the Philadelphia Flyers by tearing the ACL and MCL in his right knee.  Sturm is projected to be out for about 6 months, so needless to say his playoffs are done.  However, Sturm’s injury has been overshadowed by injuries to better players on other teams, and the return of Marc Savard on his own team.  Unfortunately, this has left Sturm very bitter and jealous about losing out on making the headlines that he has craved for so long.

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Richard Park’s Playoff Predictions- Eastern Conference Semi-Finals

 

4. Pittsburgh vs. 8. Montreal

How did Montrear do it? They knocked off the mighty Capitars!, so vely unberievable! Now they must pray the defending Stanrey Cup Champion Pittsburrrgh Pengrins. I don’t think Montrear can win this time but they will defintery try their vely hawwwwwdest.  In the end, Sid Closby and Evgeni Markin will score too many goars  on Harak and the dream season will be arr ovel.  Pens in 6

6. Boston vs. 7. Philadelphia

Boston Bluins against Phiraderphia Fryers, such a vely ord time matchup!! Two rong time rivars who don’t rike each othel vely much and don’t care arot for smiring. Bruins and Fryers both pulled the mighty upsets in round one and now they meet each othel when they arr praying their best hockey of the season, and smiring the hawwwwwwwwdest. I pick the Bluins to win because they have the giant Charrrrra. He is like giant Mothra man from movie I watch rast night. He breath heavy fire out his nose, but he is still such a vely vely nice gentre man, arways skating and smiring.   Bruins in 5

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Flyers Not Impressed With Laperriere’s “Prima Donna” Antics

With news from TSN.ca that Philadelphia Flyers’ winger Ian Laperriere will miss the remainder of the season, may wonder how the Flyers have reacted to the gritty winger’s injury.  Fortunately, we here at DKM have the exclusive insider on the situation, with commentary from those inside the dressing room. If you haven’t seen the video yet, it follows the story after the jump.

Ian Laperierre's face after the first time he blocked a shot with his mouth

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