Despite their inability to make the playoffs for the sixth consecutive season, the Toronto Maple Leafs are estatic about their contributions to this season’s fantasy hockey. While their performance might not have been good enough as a team to earn a trip to the post-season, there were a handful of Leafs players that helped fantasy managers throughout the year. Surprising statistical seasons from the likes of Clarke MacArthur, Mikhail Grabovski, Nikolai Kulemin and James Reimer meant that there were a number of players that remained relevant to fantasy-goers throughout the season; something that Toronto fans everywhere should take solace in. General Manager Brian Burke issued a statement to Leafs Nation thanking the fans for supporting the team through what he described was another successful fantasy season:
“On behalf of our players and management, I would just like to thank the fans for helping to guide us through another outstanding season in the world of make-believe, statistic-driven hockey. As an organization we feel we did everything we could to assist all of the fantasy managers out there. From Grabvoski’s tremendous all-around performance in every fantasy category, to Reimer’s back-stopping of several eventual league champions, it was truly an amazing season for our team. Thank you for your continued support and we hope to see you next year as the Toronto Maple Leafs embark on what should be yet another memorable and exciting fantasy hockey season.”
As you would probably expect, we here at DKM get swamped with loads and loads of fan-mail from avid readers offering up their thoughts and ideas. This one comes from Peter O’Sullivan who shared the following picture which depicts the similarities between Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf and funny man Martin Short.
Even Viggo Mortensen can't be happy with this team
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As the Toronto Maple Leafs continue to dig a deep hole to open their season, DKM has stumbled across some disturbing news involving Leafs General Manager Brian Burke. I’ve done a little homework on the facts, and it looks like Burkie harbours a genuine aversion towards natives of South Korea. Case in point: he refuses to trade for coveted forward Richard Park, currently playing for the New York Islanders.
Richard Park smiling; Brian Burke would not approve
Sure, you might say that you can’t just go out trading for any given player on any given day, which has some merit. However, let’s consider that Park has played in the NHL since the 1994/95 season. Brian Burke has been a GM off-and-on since the 1992/93 season (with Hartford). Over all of these years, Burkie couldn’t find a place for Park on his roster even ONCE?? Seems a little fishy to me. Adding to this whole feeling of ill-placed malice, we see that Park joined the Vancouver Canucks one season AFTER Burke was let go by the team. This is solid evidence that Canucks’ management thought highly of Park, but one man’s bigotry stood in the way of finding Richard a good home. With Vancouver’s significant Asian population, it’s surprising that Burke took that job in the first place. Let’s take a look at the other Korean-born player in NHL history: Jim Paek. In five NHL seasons, he never found his way onto a Brian Burke squad. Coincidence? Before you read this article, maybe. Now, you know it’s not mere coincidence. When Burke’s Ducks captured the Stanley Cup in 2006/07, the Burke-inspired team motto was, according to insider reports, “Win it so the Koreans can’t.” It’s ironic that the one player whose name and face is probably best associated with the Ducks franchise, Paul Kariya, was not on that Cup-winning squad. Why? Just say Kariya’s last name out loud, and you’ll have your answer.
Brian Burke (left), pictured with all of his Korean friends
She is excited for opening night, are you?
Tonight’s the night night
Let’s live it up
I got my money
Let’s spend it up
Go out and smash it
Like Oh My God
Jump off that sofa
Let’s get get OFF