Tag Archives: Zdeno Chara

Vancouver Canucks vs Boston Bruins: Keys to the Matchup

Vancouver Canucks

  • Keep the belief that they are favoured by god and are destined to win just because they are a Canadian team and Canada hasn’t won the Cup in such a wong, wong time
  • With Marc Savard out of the lineup it will be interesting to see which Bruins player Raffi Torres will give a concussion
  • Ryan Kesler shouldn’t change anything about his game. So that means he needs to keep being a little cocksucker every time he is on the ice
  • Be sure not to wake Kevin Bieksa up from his on-going dream of playing like Bobby Orr
  • The girl who flashed Ben Eager in the Sharks series should be at every game in both cities; everyone loves a good titty

Boston Bruins

  • Milan Lucic and Nathan Horton should stop telling everyone how cute their matching “bash bros.” tattoos are
  • Mark Recchi’s experience in the 1991 Stanley Cup Finals has no bearing on this series, but the joke of how he was playing in the Cup finals while Tyler Seguin’s parents were conceiving him never gets old
  • Two Sedins vs. one Chara. Time for Zdeno’s twin brother Vojtech to emerge
  • Tim Thomas might not be as technically sound as Roberto Luongo, but aww’shucks he is such a swell guy
  • If victorious, act like smug assholes who think they own the sport just because they won one championship in a hundred years; just like Red Sox Fans


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Boston vs Montreal: Keys to the Matchup


  • Utilize their size advantage by bullying the Montreal players and making up mean rumours about them
  • Try to get out to a 3-0 series lead; the safest lead in hockey
  • Tim Thomas moved way too fast last time. He should wait to see if Carey will ask him to the dance this time
  • Time for Zdeno Chara to bring out his secret weapon: smashing people into random pieces of glass that stick out unexpectedly


  • Montreal’s small forwards should mix things up by hiding on the ice and crawling between the Bruins legs
  • Keep the Montreal fans into the game but not getting beat up so much
  • Tomas Plekanec take off that fucking turtleneck
  • If racing toward the puck with Zdeno Chara just slowly back up and kindly say “here you you go big fella, you can have it”

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Max Pacioretty Mad at Brian Gionta For Not Going After Chara

Following the nasty hit which left him unconscious and required him to be rushed to hospital, Canadiens forward Max Pacioretty expressed his displeasure with teammate Brian Gionta for not responding to the hit by going after Zdeno Chara.  Pacioretty, who regained conciousness and was moving all of his extremities spoke candidly about his disappointment with his teammates, particularly Gionta. “I’m laying there face down, out cold on the ice and no one has the stones to go after Chara? Not even a shove or a push or even a face-wash for crying out loud. You just saw your teammates face get smashed into the glass and you can’t even go over and face-wash the guy who did it? Wow something is wrong with that picture.” 

With the second period winding down Chara attempted to rub Pacioretty out along the boards, but when he checked him Pacioretty went face first into the glass stanchion which seperates the two benches. He laid on the ice for several minutes before being lifted onto a stretcher and rushed to the hospital. “What I’d like to know is where Gionta was and why he didn’t step up and answer the bell against Chara. I mean, he’s the captain right and part of being a captain is sticking up for your teammates,” said Pacioretty referring to the 5’7, 175 pound Gionta who is more than a foot shorter and close to 100 pounds lighter than the 6’9, 260 pound Chara.  “Thanks a lot Brian, glad to know you’ve got my back.”


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Norris, James Norris.

The James Norris Memorial Trophy is awarded annually to the National Hockey League‘s top “defense player who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position”.[1] The James Norris Memorial Trophy has been awarded 52 times to 21 different players since its beginnings in 1954. At the end of each season, members of the Professional Hockey Writers’ Association vote to determine the player who was the best defenseman during the regular season.

So just who should win this award? I’ve got my three finalist picks after the jump. At least one will surprise you. …Or not.  The suspense is killing me.

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I Hart U

We are a good month past the mid-season break, and as the playoff picture begins to come full circle, so are the MVP candidates. Here is a list of the top 5 players who The Bench Boss thinks are the best nominees for the Hart Trophy. (Named of course after the legendary Stu Hart, father of Brett and Owen)hully

1. Alex Ovechkin- How can  ‘The Great 8″ not be number one on this list? Ovechkin is far and away the most dangerous player in the game every time he is on the ice, and the fact that he is spearheading the Capitals ascent up the Eastern Conference standings only increases his already great odds at taking home the Hart for a second straight year.

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