Jay Onrait’s TradeCentre Blog 2010: A Retrospective

We at Distinct Kicking Motion are unabashedly fans of TSN’s Jay Onrait (and, to a lesser extent proportionate to his height, Dan O’Toole).  Yesterday, Jay completed his fifth annual TradeCentre blog, delighting his readers with more content and responses than ever before.  It truly was a 10 hour virtuoso performance.  As I did last year, I rummaged through yesterday’s blog in its entirety seeking out morsels of wisdom from Jay.  Now, for your own enjoyment, what follows are isolated quotes directly from Jay – removed from context, sometimes switching chronological order, and chopped from sentences.  Keep up the great work, Jay.  From your fans at Distinct Kicking Motion.

Tradecentre = Onrait

TSN anchor and DKM idol Jay Onrait

As today is the NHL’s trade deadline, Jay Onrait is live blogging all day from his home on tsn.ca.  Last year, I followed his summary of the events quite closely.  The following day, I posted a recap of some of Jay’s best one-liners and comments from his Tradecentre blog.  The post was quite popular, so if you were a fan (or, want to be a fan), then check back in here tomorrow for a wonderful recap highlighting the best of Jay’s Tradecentre blog.  Enjoy the day, hockey fans.

Early Candidates for Goal of the Year

Hello again hockey fans.  I interrupt our usual, expertly done, 100% factual reporting on events around the hockey world to bring some video awesomeness into your world.  It’s only 18 days into 2010, yet I’ve seen three plays so far that should end up on most of the year-in-review highlights 12 months from now.  Two of these goals are similar, as Marian Hossa of the Chicago Blackhawks and Robbie Schremp of the New York Islanders appear to have taken batting practice during the off-season.  I’ll argue that Hossa’s was more difficult, as he pulled the trick off while skating.  Here’s the two videos, so you can decide for yourself.

Hossa:

Schremp:

Now, the following play isn’t from NHL competition but, rather, the ECHL.  The goal itself is not the most spectacular part of the sequence.  Rather, it’s just the icing on the cake of a series of dangles that honestly makes the defensive team look like a bunch of 10-year olds flailing helplessly as Sidney Crosby toys with them.  Here’s the video (recommendation – follow the whole vid through for some typically classic Onrait-O’Toole bantering following the Highlight of the Night portion):

Hope you enjoyed these beauties.  If you come across anything else you feel worthy so far in 2010, post the link in the comments.

U.S. Olympic Team Announced: Should Finish in the Top Six

The United States’ 2010 Olympic Hockey team was announced on New Years Day, and the roster is packed with NHL talent that should help the U.S. avoid falling into the relegation bracket.  Toronto Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke assembled the U.S. squad, which is undergoing a considerable youth movement from year’s past.  Before moving on to DKM’s report on the team, you can click here for TSN’s coverage.  Here’s a brief summary of the team, as well as some notable exceptions, before we move on to the reactions of players around the league:

(left to right) Russ Tyler, Fulton Reed, Lester Averman, and Dwayne Robertson from a past U.S. squad

IN

Forwards:  DAVID BACKES (St. Louis),  DUSTIN BROWN (Los Angeles),  RYAN CALLAHAN (NY Rangers),  CHRIS DRURY (NY Rangers),  PATRICK KANE (Chicago),  RYAN KESLER (Vancouver),  PHIL KESSEL (Toronto),  JAMIE LANGENBRUNNER (New Jersey),  RYAN MALONE (Tampa Bay),  ZACK PARISE (New Jersey),  JOE PAVELSKI (San Jose),  BOBBY RYAN (Anaheim),  PAUL STASTNY (Colorado)

Defence:  ERIK JOHNSON (St. Louis),  JACK JOHNSON (Los Angeles),  MIKE KOMISAREK (Toronto),  PAUL MARTIN (New Jersey),  BROOKS ORPIK (Pittsburgh),  BRIAN RAFALSKI (Detroit),  RYAN SUTER (Nashville)

Goaltenders:  RYAN MILLER (Buffalo),  JONATHAN QUICK (Los Angeles),  TIM THOMAS (Boston)

NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS

MIKE MODANO (Dallas),  BILL GUERIN (Pittsburgh),  KEITH TKACHUK (St. Louis),  SCOTT GOMEZ (Montreal),  BRIAN GIONTA (Montreal),  JASON POMINVILLE (Buffalo),  MIKE RICHTER (Retired),  CHRIS CHELIOS (Chicago Wolves)

Team Canada’s Olympic Roster: Triumphs and Tragedies

Team Canada’s 2010 Olympic hockey squad was revealed yesterday, and there has been the usual backlash of criticism and controversy regarding some of the selections.  TSN’s coverage of the selected players (and the omitted ones) can be found by clicking here.  Before we get into the reactions of players around the league, here’s a list of the team as well as some notable exceptions.

IN

Forwards:  PATRICE BERGERON (Boston),  SIDNEY CROSBY (Pittsburgh),  RYAN GETZLAF (Anaheim),  DANY HEATLEY (San Jose),  JAROME IGINLA (Calgary),  PATRICK MARLEAU (San Jose),  BRENDEN MORROW (Dallas),  RICK NASH (Columbus),  MIKE RICHARDS (Philadelphia),  COREY PERRY (Anaheim),  ERIC STAAL (Carolina),  JOE THORNTON (San Jose),  JONATHAN TOEWS (Chicago)

Defence:  DAN BOYLE (San Jose),  DREW DOUGHTY (Los Angeles),  DUNCAN KEITH (Chicago),  SCOTT NIEDERMAYER (Anaheim),  CHRIS PRONGER (Philadelphia),  BRENT SEABROOK (Chicago),  SHEA WEBER (Nashville)

Goaltenders:  MARTIN BRODEUR (New Jersey),  MARC-ANDRE FLEURY (Pittsburgh),  ROBERTO LUONGO (Vancouver)

NOTABLE EXCEPTIONS

MIKE GREEN (Washington),  DION PHANEUF (Calgary),  JAY BOUWMEESTER (Calgary),  CAM WARD (Carolina),  JEFF CARTER (Philadelphia),  SHANE DOAN (Phoenix),  RYAN SMYTH (Los Angeles),  VINCENT LECAVALIER (Tampa Bay), MARTIN ST. LOUIS (Tampa Bay),  STEVE STAMKOS (Tampa Bay),  CURTIS JOSEPH (Retired)

Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire Sleeping Together to Prepare for WJHC

With still a little more than two weeks to go until the World Junior Hockey Championships begin, TSN commentators Gord Miller and Pierre McGuire have begun sleeping together in order to get more comfortable with each other for the tournament.

Giguere Wants to be a ‘Ab

J.S. Giguere, in happier times

In a recent TSN report, Anaheim Ducks goalie J.S. Giguere stated he was tired and frustrated by his back-up situation to Jonas Hiller.  Saying he’d “rather retire” than be a backup, Giguere’s comments are likely to stir up the trade-talk front and give Darren Dreger more opportunities to check his Blackberry on-air.  DKM was lucky to sit down with Giguere to get some more insight into the situation in Anaheim, and the prospect of him joining his hometown team of Montreal.

Pierre McGuire Comments on His Sex Life

In another DKM exclusive report, we were able to sit down with one of Canada’s most polarizing sports figures, Pierre McGuire. While many look forward to Pierre’s energetic and frenetic broadcasts, there is a contingent of haters out there. I’m hoping that these negative opinions of Pierre are not rigidly set, and may change after getting to know Pierre on a different, non-hockey level. That’s true, hockey doesn’t permeate every aspect of his life; the man loves to bone his wife, Melanie.

A rare photo where both Pierre and Melanie appear fully clothed

Now, while I did mention above that the game of hockey doesn’t necessarily end up in his bedroom, the familiar McGuirean intensity sure as hell does. I sat down to interview Pierre last Friday night after he completed a particularly hardcore boning session. A true professional, McGuire came across with energetic answers. Here’s the interview:

The Playoff Debate: Maggie the Monkey Weighs In

Some use a crystal ball; Maggie chews on pucks

TSN’s venerable predicting primate, Maggie, has made her first round picks for the 2009 NHL Playoffs.  As we revealed the other day, this will be Maggie’s final year weighing in, and she hopes to exit on top.  Following my brief breakdown of Maggie’s picks, I’ve added two videos that capture the intensity and emotion of the NHL Playoffs.  Maggie’s picks are in bold.  My picks are italicized following the breakdown.

Eastern Conference Quarterfinals

1. Boston Bruins vs. 8. Montreal Canadiens

Breakdown: A solid pick here, particularly with Montreal’s late-season slide and their injury woes on the blueline.  A storied rivalry?  Yes.  Will the games be close?  Yes.  Will Montreal win more than one of those games?  No.  BOSTON in FIVE.

SportsCentre Top Ten Plays of the Year 2008 – 2009

I think Mike Ribeiro will have something to say about the boys here at DKM just throwing around the title of ‘Best Shootout Goal Ever’. Euro Leagues? Pft. The IHL? Yawn. This is the Lonestar State Boy!

Uh huh.

Also, not to direct you away from our beloved site, but if you go to youtube itself, you can watch the video with the ‘HQ’ option on.

Ovechkin Goal of the Year, followed by Franzen’s effort.

I think it is also safe to say that Bobby Ryan is truly the real deal.

The Loss of a Legend

Maggie, posing in a controversial but tastefully done nude photo; undated

It is with heavy hearts that Distinct Kicking Motion passes on the following news: TSN’s Maggie the Monkey will be retiring at the end of the 2009 playoff run.  TSN broke the news on their website today, and we here at DKM only hope the best for Maggie in her retirement, as she has provided us with many beautiful memories over the past few years.  Alas, I don’t think there’s anyone who spun (or will ever spin) that matchup wheel quite like you did, Maggie.  Our collective hearts also go out to TSN hockey front-man, James Duthie, who forged a close working relationship with Maggie.

Maggie (left) and her close friend, James Duthie

Maggie’s greatest successes came during the 2003 playoffs, where she picked Anaheim to reach the cup finals over Detroit, Dallas, and Minnesota, and in 2006, where her predictions ranked above touted TSN experts Pierre McGuire and “Big Head” Bob McKenzie.  While Maggie has yet to predict a Cup champion, all of us at DKM hope she goes out on top.  Regardless of how this season’s predictions pan out, you’ll always be the number one crab-eating macaque in our hearts.  Finally, here’s a video tribute, showing Maggie doing what she did best during last year’s playoffs.

We hope that a large, beachfront condo awaits you somewhere in Florida.  Enjoy your retirement, friend.

(For the TSN announcement on Maggie’s retirement, CLICK HERE;  For Maggie’s Wikipedia entry and career stats, CLICK HERE)

Yes Brodeur Did It

He now has the All Time Wins record, passing Patrick Roy by getting his 552 regular season victory in a 3-2 home win against the Chicago Blackhawks tonight. But I don’t need to tell you, the informed hockey enjoying public.

As a celebration, Brodeur cut out the mesh net of his goal as a keepsake. The announcers kept going on about how they had never seen a goalie cut the mesh out before. I am POSITIVE I have seen another goaltender do this in the NHL. It could have been Roy, in fact. My 5 minutes search of youtube returned no results, though. Any ideas?

In the meantime, here are two awesome youtube videos of goaltenders. I figure I’ll include them with this post as a general tribute to the position of the ‘keeper. Enjoy.

First, as a reaction to Brodeur cutting out the mesh of the net for himself, my favourite goaltender celebration of all time: The BlindMan [note the insulting ‘blindman stick’ technique. I think this comes from the Finnish Elite League].

TSN’s Top Ten Crazy Goaltender Moments [We NEED Ray Emery back in North America]